Learning to Breathe

Some days it's just too much.

The reminder that the world is not as it should be surrounds us everyday, like smoke from a fire creeping up to steal our oxygen and choke us to death.

It comes gradually. We become accustomed to its presence and it almost seems normal to us. Almost.

The news of an illness, the loss of a job, or a family that has been ripped apart by addiction.

Silence where there should be words, shouts where there should be kind words, anger or neglect where there should be love.

If we don't see it around us, it's easy to find it in ourselves. Selfishness, bitterness, anxiety... what happened to love, joy, and peace?

Everywhere I turn I am reminded of how much we lose when we choose to be our own god, to decide for ourselves what is good. Isn't it interesting that the original sin doesn't seem so bad when you isolate the act itself? She was just eating a piece of fruit, right? What's the big deal? That's what Eve thought too, and life has never been the same. God is the One who defines what is good, and He knew what was coming.

Some days the continued consequences of that choice (and our own choices) are stifling. Sometimes it feels too painful to deal with, and all I want to do is shut down. I want to cover my ears and shut my eyes tight, like a two year old who thinks they can hide from someone if they can't see them. But I know that's not the answer either.

These are the moments I am so keenly aware of the ache in my soul for something more. Isn't there something in all of us that asks the question, "is this really all there is?" And everything within me screams, "no!"

Today when I found myself gasping for air, I finally came back to the place I should have started.

I need you

I know

I need you

I am here

I can breathe. All may not be right with the world today, but all will be right one day, and I am waiting in the arms of the One who can make it right.

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:1

Thank you. You are my life, my breath, the sustainer of my soul. I come to You, where else can I go? That the God of the universe should personally care for us is unfathomable. Although it is our own brokenness that separates us from You, still You seek us. You made a way for us to come back. Thank you that You make all things new. We need You, Lord... we need You, every minute of every day.