Job Well Done My Friend...?
Last night I ran the board for a baseball game at work. (Which basically means I was at the radio station, the sport’s director was at the baseball diamond announcing the game, and together we worked to make everything sound like it fits… commercials, introductions, the game... etc.) It took me back to a night a few months ago, to another baseball game. That night, as I was frantically pushing buttons and turning dials, timing things out, trying to do everything just right, I wondered, "Why am I trying to make everything just so?" I tell myself it's because I want to do a good job and glorify God through my work, so as to be a good testimony. But something happened that night that made me wonder… is that just my way of sugar coating things? What’s really going on here? Oftentimes at the end of a game, and sometimes during, the sport director will say, “thanks to our studio engineer, Kara Bird (or AJ McNeal, who does most of the games)…” and then these words, “Job well done my friend.” The game had just barely started, but I was surprised to find myself waiting to hear those words. I didn’t understand exactly how much I was waiting for them until… it happened. I made a mistake. I wasn’t on top of things. It wasn’t perfect. I made us sound bad. I was crushed. Thoughts began to tumble around in my mind, “How could you do that? You’re so incompetent. You’re so lazy. You messed up! What will this do to your testimony? You’re not really getting any better… look at you. In fact, you’re getting worse!” In my mind I imagined how upset the sport’s director probably was with me, (though I had absolutely no support for this thought besides my suppositions.) In the back of my mind the nasty whisper surfaced, “Now he won’t say it… you’ve failed.” Amazing how my mind can turn a single snowflake into an avalanche. I sat there staring at the board, practically numb, wondering, “What’s wrong with me? Why is this so important?” I was placing so much emphasis on the approval of other people, so much of my identity… my security on what they thought of me, whoever they happened to be at the time. That night, those five little words seemed to represent the compressed weight of all the approval I was aching for from everyone around me. But when is it enough? When do I stop needing the affirmation? How long does it last? Does there come a point where I’m finally “okay”? As I continued to stare blankly at the sound board and listen to the crack of the bat as it came in contact with the ball, I felt as if my insides were splintering. As I sat there in this pathetic state, a whisper from a different place came quietly to my soul to rescue me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I stopped and turned those words over in my mind, surprised how similar they were to the words I was straining to hear. Maybe there was something in that crack of the bat which jerked me back to reality, making me remember those words I had so often heard in Sunday School… or not. I believe God answered me as I sat there torn up over such a seemingly small incident, praying desperately, “God please, sustain me.” Well done… good and faithful servant. While my desire for human approval is natural, only what is supernatural will sustain me. What must it be like to stand before God and hear those words? I can only imagine. As I think of all the approval I ache for, this is what I want to hunger for more every day: to hear my Lord say, “Job well done my friend.” I don’t have this figured out yet… and I still struggle with my desire for human approval on a daily… no moment by moment basis. But… it gives me incredible peace to realize that God is on my side. He is the one who is helping me, guiding me, picking me up out of the mud, and He is not ashamed of me… I belong to Him.
Psalm 54:4 “Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.”
Hebrews 13:20-21 "May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever..."
Transform my thoughts Lord. Keep whispering your truth to my heart to combat the lies I blindly believe. Help me keep You at the forefront as I live each moment. Although I see I still struggle with this… more often than I would like to say, thank you that I am accepted and loved by you, no matter how much I mess up, let you down, or forget you. I’m reminded of a song… “I belong to you apart from the things I do. I’m in awe of why you do the things you do.” Thanks again Lord.
What do you think?
Last night I ran the board for a baseball game at work. (Which basically means I was at the radio station, the sport’s director was at the baseball diamond announcing the game, and together we worked to make everything sound like it fits… commercials, introductions, the game... etc.) It took me back to a night a few months ago, to another baseball game. That night, as I was frantically pushing buttons and turning dials, timing things out, trying to do everything just right, I wondered, "Why am I trying to make everything just so?" I tell myself it's because I want to do a good job and glorify God through my work, so as to be a good testimony. But something happened that night that made me wonder… is that just my way of sugar coating things? What’s really going on here? Oftentimes at the end of a game, and sometimes during, the sport director will say, “thanks to our studio engineer, Kara Bird (or AJ McNeal, who does most of the games)…” and then these words, “Job well done my friend.” The game had just barely started, but I was surprised to find myself waiting to hear those words. I didn’t understand exactly how much I was waiting for them until… it happened. I made a mistake. I wasn’t on top of things. It wasn’t perfect. I made us sound bad. I was crushed. Thoughts began to tumble around in my mind, “How could you do that? You’re so incompetent. You’re so lazy. You messed up! What will this do to your testimony? You’re not really getting any better… look at you. In fact, you’re getting worse!” In my mind I imagined how upset the sport’s director probably was with me, (though I had absolutely no support for this thought besides my suppositions.) In the back of my mind the nasty whisper surfaced, “Now he won’t say it… you’ve failed.” Amazing how my mind can turn a single snowflake into an avalanche. I sat there staring at the board, practically numb, wondering, “What’s wrong with me? Why is this so important?” I was placing so much emphasis on the approval of other people, so much of my identity… my security on what they thought of me, whoever they happened to be at the time. That night, those five little words seemed to represent the compressed weight of all the approval I was aching for from everyone around me. But when is it enough? When do I stop needing the affirmation? How long does it last? Does there come a point where I’m finally “okay”? As I continued to stare blankly at the sound board and listen to the crack of the bat as it came in contact with the ball, I felt as if my insides were splintering. As I sat there in this pathetic state, a whisper from a different place came quietly to my soul to rescue me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I stopped and turned those words over in my mind, surprised how similar they were to the words I was straining to hear. Maybe there was something in that crack of the bat which jerked me back to reality, making me remember those words I had so often heard in Sunday School… or not. I believe God answered me as I sat there torn up over such a seemingly small incident, praying desperately, “God please, sustain me.” Well done… good and faithful servant. While my desire for human approval is natural, only what is supernatural will sustain me. What must it be like to stand before God and hear those words? I can only imagine. As I think of all the approval I ache for, this is what I want to hunger for more every day: to hear my Lord say, “Job well done my friend.” I don’t have this figured out yet… and I still struggle with my desire for human approval on a daily… no moment by moment basis. But… it gives me incredible peace to realize that God is on my side. He is the one who is helping me, guiding me, picking me up out of the mud, and He is not ashamed of me… I belong to Him.
Psalm 54:4 “Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.”
Hebrews 13:20-21 "May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever..."
Transform my thoughts Lord. Keep whispering your truth to my heart to combat the lies I blindly believe. Help me keep You at the forefront as I live each moment. Although I see I still struggle with this… more often than I would like to say, thank you that I am accepted and loved by you, no matter how much I mess up, let you down, or forget you. I’m reminded of a song… “I belong to you apart from the things I do. I’m in awe of why you do the things you do.” Thanks again Lord.
What do you think?
posted by Kara Bird | 11:56 AM
3 Comments:
"While my desire for human approval is natural, only what is supernatural will sustain me." Well said, beautiful sentence. I also like your version of "Well done, good and faithful servant"--"Job well done, my friend." Imagine! MY FRIEND! My favorite part of this whole entry was the reminder that He is not ashamed of me. He is not ashamed of me. You made me mmmmm again, Kara.
Great post!! This strikes me because often I think "God, do I make you proud?" It is so easy to get caught up in seeking human approval, but honestly even when I get that I doubt it. We can spend our time running around trying to make everyone happy or we can get smart, settle down and turn our eyes back to God. Like Tami, my favorite part of the entry was reminding me God isn't ashamed of me. Is it possible we do make God proud?
Hey Kara just checked out your blogs! This one was refreshingly real - and to me is an extension of the mirror you saw yourself in. The wonder of our Lord is that he sees it all even when we can't stand to look at ourselves anymore and loves with agape love. What a lesson for us to provide that kind of shelter and allownace for others. Well done! Love you!
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