"Did God really say He will provide?"

I didn't hear the words audibly, but I felt their impact as I stared at the financial aid report on the computer screen. "It's better than it was." I thought as I looked at the modified bottom line. It seemed I could hear the clang of a cash register in my mind, and the numbers began to haunt me as I realized the size of the loan I was going to have to take out. "Lord I still think this is where You want me..." I closed the screen and thought, "Well, You own the cattle on a thousand hills. I need You to sell a few for me."

As I took a walk later that night, my mind again felt numb as I considered the logistics. How could I possibly come up with the sum of money that was expected? I felt the unspoken prompt from Satan worm its way into my soul once again,

"Did God really say He would provide?"

God? What do You say about this?

In a moment, different words filled my mind, the source of which I had no cause to doubt,

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith."

I lifted my head to take in the towering trees above me, which had just burst into a green canopy after a long grey spell due to the freeze. For a long time it had seemed the leaves would never come. I smiled, remembering the day I asked God what I would do about clothes at school. At the very moment I was asking, someone was handing my mom a sack for me with a new outfit in it. Later that person would comment, "I just felt like I was supposed to buy you some clothes."

"Did God really say He would provide?"

This morning as I dried my hair, my weak heart again took a step backwards, wondering... worrying over the possibility of it all. Before I could even ask, the still small voice reminded me,

What is impossible with men is possible with God. You are the man... get the picture?

"Did God really say He would provide?"

Yes, He did. Now beat it Satan!

Thank you Lord that You paid the ultimate price for me. Once for all time. After that, everything is just an added bonus. Father I have seen You take care of me so many times in the past. Help me in my foolish unbelief. When Satan creeps around and tempts me to doubt You, send Him flying Lord. Bring Your words back to my heart. Thank you that You are trustworthy Lord. I trust You to lead me in this new adventure, one step at a time.