I NEED YOU
Well you caught me. I’ve been avoiding writing. Yes I’ve been busy… but I think there is something else also, something more than that. What is it? I think I’m starting to figure it out. Oh wait… what I’m figuring out is… I don’t have things figured out. I don’t have the lessons I’ve been learning wrapped up in a nice little package… and that bugs me. Why?
I’ve been having a lot of ups and downs lately the last few weeks. No special reason… just the everyday living I think. I’ve been working a lot of extra hours, trying to figure out the latest math assignments as they get progressively harder and I have less and less time, frantically submitting assignments for my online class…(due at 11:55, submitted at 11:53) and write and give the latest speech that’s due the same week as midterms. (All about the time some of my friends are leaving for college and it’s my last chance to spend time with them.) As you can see… I’m suffering from Tami’s famous Winy Baby Syndrome as well. J I know so many people in my life whose burdens are so much greater than mine… but I have to be honest… there are days where I don’t see anything but my own stresses and problems. There are days I feel like a water balloon that got stuck to a faucet turned on full blast. (Okay… not a water balloon anymore... shreds of a water balloon.) Anybody been there? So what do you do with that? Do you just paste your smile on, pretend your fine… shove everything down because you know everyone else’s burdens are so much bigger than yours?
So now comes the part where I’m supposed to share with you this amazing lesson I learned… some amazing wise words. And that’s what bugs me. It bugs me because I feel like the only things I’m learning are the same lessons over and over… so did I really learn them in the first place? What’s wrong with me? I don’t have it all figured out. I’m just trying to take it one day at a time… and many times the only thing I’ve learned at the end of the day is, “Wow Lord I need you. I can’t make it another day without You!” But wait a second… is that such a bad thing after all? Maybe… just maybe our pathetic human condition, our screw-ups, shortfalls, our weaknesses allow God to show up in our life. Maybe if I had it figured out… I wouldn’t need God?
So when you get right down to it… that’s all I’ve really got to say.
I need You. Thanks for the reminders.
posted by Kara Bird | 12:06 AM
3 Comments:
Okay, Kara, breathe! Frankly, I like that you don't have everything figured out. It makes you like the rest of us! But you did learn something. You learned that you need God. Do you realize recognizing that need is a gift? Enjoyable read, my friend. Please do it more often!
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I messed up my post, darn it! This is one of those times where I'd like to give you a big box, full of time, but I can't. You did two great things with this post. You admitted that you're not perfect and can't handle everything, which is a relief to hear and very easy to relate to and you realized (maybe for the 676th time) that you need God. What would you be without him? Awesome job, my friend. Looking forward to many more! Love you.
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