God in the trenches

Did you know God isn't afraid of dirt? (I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise since, after all, He is God and He made man from it.) God doesn't avoid the mud and the ugly parts of our life. He doesn't just meet us at church on Sunday and then push us out the door, smiling and waving goodbye like a grandpa who's relieved to have a break from his overactive grandchildren. He walks with us through the tantrums, through tears, and through the trenches.

I saw a movie last week about a town that lost an entire football team. Athletic directors, coaches, and more... were all gone in a single plane crash. I cried as I watched wives, fathers, children, and even a fiance grieve the loss of the people they loved. As I reached for my Kleenex I thought, "Wow, I've never lost someone really close to me. I wonder how you get through something like that." The very next day, I began to learn how.

I was on my way to work after class when my mom passed me in her car. She was headed toward school, so I knew she was looking for me. I pulled off to the side of the road and rolled down my window, "Don't go to work, come home. I need to talk to you," she said. I didn't ask anything else. My mind and stomach began to spin, slowly at first, then faster. From my radio I heard these words:

Hold fast, help is on the way.
Hold fast, He's come to save the day.
What I've learned in my life, one thing greater than my strife is Your grace. Hold fast.

This calmed the spinning a little, and I sent up a quick prayer for whatever was ahead. When I arrived home I learned that a friend from work was killed in a car accident that morning. My mom had known her longer than I had, and we both knew this wonderful woman was home with her Savior. But that didn't make it any less painful. There were days I felt like crawling under the nearest desk, blanket, or whatever was available to cry for a few hours. Some days I felt like the tears would never stop, other days I felt like they were locked up inside me, which almost hurt worse. I still have those days. I'm not sure how this grief thing works, or how long it will take. But I do know that God is here, in the trenches.

I heard him speak in the words, and sometimes just the melody of a song, when nothing else could reach me. I smiled as I watched fluffy diamonds fall from the sky on the day of the funeral... or were those feathers from God's wings which I was hiding under? I felt his touch when a friend called just to check on me, sent a timely e-mail, card, or traveled from far away to be with me. I felt his presence when mom worked beside me while I cried, held my hand at the funeral, and listened when I was ready to talk. Even when I was completely alone I opened His Word and He was there.

"I lift my eyes to the hills -- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

"For such is God, Our God forever and ever; He will guide us until death." Psalm 48:14

"Lord you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations." Psalm 90:1

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2

Of course there were also days when it seemed God was silent, and those days do seem very long. But as a wise friend pointed out in her blog, God has a purpose for those days too.

Yes, in this life we will go through the trenches, and we will wonder at times if we will survive them. But I am so thankful God goes with us through those trenches, even when I cannot see Him. He is not afraid of our pain.

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me everything that brings you glory
And I know there will be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you
Jesus bring the rain.
-Mercy Me

Thank you Father that You are not a God who only walks with us when things are smooth and we are responding to everything perfectly. Thank you that You walk with us through the trenches, giving us more grace. Thank you for being our safe place of refuge, whatever comes our way in this life.

Amazed by Grace

Before the sound of my alarm clock reached me, something else was dancing through my mind that morning. Even before I was fully awake I was aware of it. It was a few simple lines from a song I haven't heard in months:

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Because your grace still amazes me

I couldn't get it out of my head. Over and over it played. The day went on as usual, but those words stayed with me. I wondered why God had chosen to implant those words in my mind that morning.

The dictionary defines grace as "the love and favor of God toward man."

But I think it's a whole lot more than that:

God's grace enables us to receive blessings from His hand.

"From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." John 1:17

God's grace gives us new life... eternal life.

"For if, by the trespasses of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." Romans 5:17

God's grace cost us nothing, and Jesus everything.

"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich." 2 Corinthians 8:9

Because of God's grace, when our strength fails, His begins.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Through God's grace, we can be redeemed, set free, and washed clean once and for all.

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." Ephesians 1:7-8

God's grace is the only hope we have for salvation.
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God..." Ephesians 2:9

And finally, God's grace is what enables us to keep going, no matter how badly or how often we fail.

"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to humble.'" James 3:6

As I look at that list, I think there is probably a lot more to grace than I can fully comprehend. I wonder how often I forget to be amazed by grace. How often do I take the time to say, "Thank you God, for you amazing, undeserved favor. I don't understand it, but I know if I didn't have it, I would be in a serious mess."

I wonder how my life would be different if I sang that song more often, if I took the time to be amazed by grace. Would it affect my relationships with other people? Would my mind be so overwhelmed by the grace I receive every single day that I wouldn't have time to stop and criticize someone else? Would my heart be so full of gratitude that it wouldn't have room for my complaints about the weather, traffic, or school? I wonder, would I look at my circumstances, struggles, and tribulations differently?

Hey, I've got an idea. Let's find out!

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen." 2 Peter 3:18

Not By Sight

I gripped my steering wheel and pushed myself back into my seat. The squeak of my windshield wipers was becoming more frequent. As I cranked up their speed, my speedometer dipped lower. The rain wasn't heavy, but it was blowing enough to hamper my ability to see the road. Someone in a car behind me grew frustrated and soon passed me. I just hung onto the steering wheel and prayed. That was a time I guess you could say I had to drive by faith, not by sight, because I couldn't really see.

"We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7 I think I often connected that verse with "big" or "important" events in my life. But today I realized, every time I turn around there is another opportunity to choose to live by faith, not by sight. An opportunity to choose to trust God when I don't feel like things are right. Would you care to take a stroll with me through my day?


Wednesday January 3, 2007

8 am: The minute my alarm goes off, I'm scrolling through my mental checklist for the day. I rub my eyes. Can I get it all done? Do I want to get it all done?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

11 am: I'm reading the weather forecast at work, but my mind is somewhere else, occupied with details of scholarships to be filled out, essays I have to write, all the extra paraphernalia to include, the deadlines approaching like an avalanche, and the likelihood of actually receiving them. Is that a head-ache I feel coming on?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

12 pm: Time to grab a bite to eat. Yikes, how am I ever going to get rid of these extra Christmas pounds I gained over vacation. Will I ever learn to be balanced?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

1 pm: Speaking of balance, it's time to balance the checkbook. Numbers, numbers. How do they disappear so fast? Will I have enough to pay for school? What about this time next year? Will there be enough?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

1:30 pm: I sit in the business office of the college. My vision blurs a little as a woman searches the records for a scholarship that seems to have sprouted legs and run away. I'm glad you don't need scholarships to get into heaven.

"We live by faith, not by sight."

1:45 pm: Can books really cost that much?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

2:30 pm: I look for things to put into scholarship packets, but can't find a whole lot. Will they even take a second look at my application?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

3:00 pm: I'm tired and ready for a nap, but sit down to catch up on some things before a meeting at 3:30. Will life always wear me out?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

3:45 pm: I add another mark to my calendar, which is growing black with scribbles from my pen. Will I be able to juggle this schedule?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

8:15 pm: Work is over and the day is drawing to a close. I can think of several things I shouldn't have said, and twice as many thoughts I should not have entertained. Will I ever get it right?

"We live by faith, not by sight."

8:20 pm: I sit still and listen to one of my favorite songs. I take a deep breath, and I remember that God is the blessed controller of all things.

"We live by faith, not by sight."


God, help me recognize the stresses of this life as opportunities to grow my trust in you. Help me recognize the choice and choose to walk by faith. Thank you that you are trustworthy.


"Therefore we do not lose heart. Thought outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18